Lost in Random is a Tim Burton-esque adventure where the fates of everyone depends on the role of the dice. This darkly fascinating world is inhabited by all sorts of bizarre residents, but just because someone looks spooky, that doesn’t mean they are spooky. But then again…that also doesn’t necessarily mean they’re definitely not spooky, either. One of the creepier denizens of the world of Random resides in Two-Town, where everyone has two opposing personalities. I’m talking about the Mayor of Two-Town’s other half, Royam.
On a mission to get back Seemore’s missing eyes, Even is directed towards speaking to the Mayor of Two-Town, a perfectly pleasant and cordial bloke. Although he himself can’t help us, he knows someone who can and tells us about the thing growing out of his hat, an unsettling copy of himself that’s “mad as a hatter” and seriously freaks him out. At the moment, Royam is busy working on an upside down version of the town called the Upside Downtown, to which you are able to ascend thanks to an elevator. And let me tell you, Royam’s appearance is quite horrifying. This abomination has a large, Jack-O-Lantern grin, empty black eyesockets, and appears to be made out of fabric and held together by stitches, like some sort of demented scarecrow. Even his voice is unsettling, as it’s deep and has the undertones of a growl whenever he speaks.
The one thing stopping Royam from being as scary as he should be, and pushing him into spoopy territory, however, is his penchant for rhyming. Or rather, the fact that he’s absolutely terrible at it. In fact, his efforts to rhyme fail pretty much every…uh, they fail always, is what I meant to say…ahem… Unable to complete even the simplest of rhymes (charge rhymes with large, Royam, it’s not that hard!), Even frequently interrupts him and finishes his sentences, and your two options consist of either a proper rhyme or…not. This, of course, annoys him to no end, and he insists he was just about come up with the correct rhyme if you hadn’t intervened. Whatever you say, dude, but I’m really not the one being…impolite.
Well, it turns out that Royam does indeed know a thing or two about Seemore’s eyes, but if you want his cooperation, you’ll need to help him with some inspiration (I rhymed by accident, and this guy can’t even do it on purpose!) for his poem about the second moon he’s building. Unfortunately, even once you do your part, Royam doesn’t hold up his end of the bargain and attempts to send you into a trap in the form of a deadly board game where you must get the giant playing piece to the second moon. And just when I was starting to think this guy wasn’t so bad, which makes me rather…unhappy and disappointed.
After a decisive victory on Even’s part, we accidentally break the moon, angering Royam and encouraging him to break free from his connection to the Mayor (by which I mean the not gross one), after which he crawls quickly away as he drags his atrophied legs behind him. Shudder… Well, after a boss fight that I really should have seen coming, during which Royam still can’t figure out how to rhyme, the creepy anti-mayor gets sucked back into the good Mayor’s head, right where he belongs. And that, dear readers, is the story of Royam.
Sure, Royam is super creepy. Sure, he can’t be trusted to not betray us. But his utter incompetence at poetry made him one of the most entertaining and memorable characters of Lost in Random. It’s just a bit difficult to stay angry at someone when they’re bumbling their way through the most basic of rhymes. At the very least, you’ve gotta admire the guy’s perseverance. It almost makes me forget he’s got such an unpleasant appearance. Wait a minute…
Screenshot from official Thunderful Games website