I would venture that most of us might pause upon stumbling across a formidable creature with a penchant for bashing in heads and a taste for human giblets. And further, if we were armed with any sort of weapon, desiring to injure the large beastie before it had any chance to inflict harm upon us would only be a natural reaction. I know that’s my approach, in games, when it comes to dealing with any creature that I immediately perceive as a threat. But, when playing as Geralt in The Witcher 3, a different sort of mindset settles in. Granted, Geralt is a monster hunter, but he also understands monsters in ways that no regular human could. As well, not all monsters in the game want to destroy Geralt immediately at first sight. So what happens when he comes across a singing rock troll that’s apparently eaten everyone in its general surroundings? We get my first Spooptober subject: Trollololo!
The rock troll and wannabe Redanian soldier, Trollololo, isn’t the only harmless rock troll in The Witcher 3, but he’s one that comes with quite the story, which goes something like this.
For whatever reason, Trollololo happened to find himself among a group of Redanian soliders who asked him to watch a group of boats that, unbeknownst to Trollololo, they had stolen from some local peasants. The soldiers then set up camp and proceeded to party the night away, that is, until the peasants showed up to reclaimed their boats. A ruckus ensued, and Trollololo stepped in to help the soldiers. Not knowing his own strength, however, he accidentally ended up killing everyone, soldiers and peasants alike, all of whom then became his dinner. Because, y’know, no sense in letting good meat go to waste, right? After all this brouhaha, Trollololo continued to keep watch over the boats, thinking that he was a Redenian solider, and to further keep house and the boats safe, he built his own small fortification, White Eagle Fort. It’s then that Geralt finds him singing a Redanian song, watching over the boats.
Trollololo regales Geralt with his tale, and Geralt is left with a choice: does he let the troll’s transgressions slide or does he make him pay for his crimes? If players go with the latter, well, that’s the end of Trollololo. But, if players opt to look the other way, they can help Trollololo make his fort “official” by adding to it the Redanian coat of arms. Trollololo asks Geralt to retrieve red and white paint. Once done, players can choose to have either Geralt or Trollololo do the honors. The video above reveals the outcome of both options, which are quite delightful. Geralt’s version of the coat of arms is crude (his eagle looks like a surprised chicken), but Trollololo loves it! If Trollololo does the painting, his coat of arms is a nearly perfect reproduction, which surprises Geralt. Trollololo, however, turns out to be quite the critical artist, and he hates it. But, oh well. It’ll have to do anyway.
One the best things about The Witcher 3 is that you never know how a conversation with any creature of any sort will turn out. At the point I met Trollololo in my playthrough the game, I was feeling a bit stressed out at all the hacking and slashing I had had to manage. So, to come across a scary-looking but harmless rock troll with a unique backstory was very refreshing. I opted to have Geralt do the painting of the coat of arms, and Trollololo’s happy reaction was priceless. I left that moment with a renewed spirit and changed outlook on the game. I vowed not to instigate fights unless Geralt was obviously in danger, and it made the game feel much less stifling. Who knew that one rock troll with a pleasant disposition would make all the difference!
Lede image captured by author during PS4 gameplay of The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (© CD Projekt S.A.).