Now that I’ve gotten through Breath of the Wild and Yooka-Laylee, my top two games of the year, I’ve been working my way through Kingdom Hearts 2.8. The bulk of this game’s time has, and will continue to be, spent on the remake of Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance. The most exciting game in this little collection, however, was Aqua’s extra story, A Fragmentary Passage, which looks absolutely beautiful and really gets me excited for Kingdom Hearts 3. If that’s even still a thing anymore. At this rate, I may never even live to see its release, but I hope future generations can enjoy it.
And then there’s Kingdom Hearts X Back Cover.
This is a one-hour cinematic of the mobile game of roughly the same name, and whether or not it is an accurate summary of the events in said game, I wouldn’t know, as this remains to be the one and only Kingdom Hearts game thus far that I have no intention of playing. And if they continue to release non-console games for the series, then that number will only grow. Because I’m done with this wild goose chase the Kingdom Hearts series has led me on. Even though I have tried my darnedest to keep up with the series, the one and only game I have neglected means I am once again left in the dark.
Which leads me to this question: who else is totally lost at this point? I love Kingdom Hearts. It’s one of my most beloved series, and some time back, I prided myself in my ability to more or less understand the increasingly complex story. And yet, at this point, we essentially have something akin to the twisted and contradictory lore of Five Nights at Freddy’s, but on a far grander scale.
Nobodies have no hearts, and thus no feelings. Makes total sense. Wait a minute, now they can regain their hearts? My bad. So what then is the consequence of losing one’s heart? Oh, but there’s actually another option for those of us unlucky enough to lose their hearts to the darkness. Just get killed off, and voila, you’ll wake up some time later in the place where you originally lost your heart, as good as new! That’s…that’s just silly. Oh, but here’s an easy one every KH fan should know. Heartless are the darkness in one’s heart, and Nobodies are the empty bodies left behind. Okay. Got it. Now try figuring out what Unversed and Nightmares are! And Sleeping Worlds! You have GOT to be kidding me!
And now everyone and their parakeet has a Keyblade. When’s Donald and Goofy gonna get one, huh?
I can’t keep up with this series anymore. Interesting new pieces of Kingdom Hearts history is all well and good. But not when details totally conflict with each other, and random games we never asked for continue to be churned out, even as the highly anticipated Kingdom Hearts 3 remains but a distant dream. I had just given up trying to understand what was going on in Dream Drop Distance when I hear about this mobile game, and now we have the Foretellers, an entirely new faction that only complicates matters further and requires increasingly impractical clothes in order to set them apart from all the other groups out there. Except when they wish to confuse us, as we now have people from the distant past wearing the same robes as Organization XIII. Why? I have no idea!
I am so utterly and hopelessly lost at this point, and I can only hope that Kingdom Hearts 3 will somehow tie everything together so that the story actually makes sense again. I doubt it, though. I think Square Enix enjoys confusing us at this point. I think it’s a big, inside joke, and they are laughing at us right now. Just look at the title of their newest HD remake. Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue. Final? Prologue? That’s two opposing words in one title! And don’t even get me started on 358/2 Days. I don’t know what that means. Um…is the true title 179 Days? Ha ha, I’ve solved it!
Okay, maybe I’m coming off as a bit crazy. But this is what the series has done to me. Kingdom Hearts, at least in my opinion, was so much better with just the main two games on the PlayStation 2. (And I’m mostly okay with Birth By Sleep, even if this only proves Square Enix has an unhealthy fascination with weird titles.) Complex stories can be immensely rewarding. But not when they’re like this. Even back then, Kingdom Hearts was anything but simple, but now that we’ve gotten so many random handheld games, I yearn for the “simple” days. I enjoyed the series far more when there were fewer characters, fewer categories of enemies. When Nobodies never got their hearts back and Sleeping Worlds didn’t exist. I found the games far more compelling when there was less going on. Less is more, Square Enix, a company who clearly doesn’t understand the meaning behind this statement, considering they recently released Final Fantasy XV (fifteen!) and shows no signs of stopping. Less. Is. More.
So please share your thoughts, fellow Kingdom Hearts fans. Have you become hopelessly lost like I have? If so, when did the series start to lose you? And are you as frustrated as I am about the continued delays with KH3? Please let me know in the comments below!
(358/2) to the Power of Pi Ducks…then Find the Square Root
Screenshot from Flickr User: CRAIG19C