Cheeky Charlatans: Calypso

Even though I never played much Twisted Metal, the series’ main villain is nonetheless the epitome of cheekiness to me. Calypso has the power to literally anything, and he uses that power to put on crazy vehicular death death tournaments starring only the worst of the worst. These guys are all competing to have Calypso grant their most fervent wish, but they’d all probably think twice if they understood just how much this guy delights in flipping the tables on his victims.

Calypso has an indescribable amount of power, capable of reshaping reality as he sees fit. He’s already changed the world to allow for his death sport, and he’s of course both extremely wealthy and powerful. This is a man who wants for nothing, so naturally the only thing he really wants is to make things as entertaining as possible (for himself). On top of watching the world’s worst kill each other for his viewing pleasure, Calypso absolutely loves wordplay. It doesn’t matter how carefully the Twisted Metal tournament “winner’s” wish is expressed; Calypso will always find a way to turn it into some special kind of horror for the victim.

Take Axel’s wish in Twisted Metal III for example: he was tormented by being a hybrid of man and machine trapped in a weird, big-wheel contraption, so his wish was to become a perfect machine. Calypso granted his wish, and Axel was indeed transformed into a perfect machine. However, Axel never said what kind of machine he wanted to be, so Calypso fulfilled his desire by transforming Axel into his own personal pocket watch. Seriously, look!

Video from YouTube channel: PA N

It’s more or less the same for every wish in every Twisted Metal game: the only one who ever gets their way is Calypso. He gets the last laugh no matter what, and he’s rigged all of reality to make sure of it. He’s downright evil to be sure, but you have to give him credit: there are few other characters out there who take anywhere near as much delight in being a snarky wise guy.

What do you think of Calypso? Can you think of anyone that can outdo him? Maybe we can, so stay tuned for more Cheeky Charlatans!

Lede image put together by Hatmonster