Hello, everyone, and welcome to the duck’s first Listmas list. I enjoy lists, whether it’s keeping track of all my games (in order from best to worst, of course) and realizing that my collection might be getting a wee bit enormous or marking things off a list and knowing that I’m getting one step closer to a goal. And so when I found out there was an actual little holiday where I got to list stuff, I then got to thinking about what I wanted to list (as was the logical next step in that sequence of events). And I eventually came up with the idea to list the things I don’t like about games I like. Here I go.
- “Star Fox Adventures” is a really great game, except for Prince Tricky…and that weird dinosaur that floats around with no legs and scares me very much…. Actually, I’d just prefer they had no dinosaurs on Dinosaur Planet in the first place.
- And let’s not forget those really ugly kids in “The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess” (especially the baby-like one who is even scarier than the dinosaur with no legs), which I cared nothing for when I had to help them and stuff and which very nearly ruined the game for me. Not sure how, but it did. Actually, the entire game is just filled with hideous people.
- “Pikmin” is really stressful. Great game, but stressful. And it’s creepy when my Pikmin get eaten…or drown…or get blown up…or get lit on fire…or get thrown into an abyss…. I kind of feel more or less like a horrible person now.
- Dr. Nefarious is so ridiculously hard to beat in “Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal”, but he is too easy in “A Crack in Time”. No, I’m not just hard to please.
- I can’t help but think they bend the rules a bit too much in the “Kingdom Hearts” series, for example, with people somehow coming back to life because you killed them. Okay, should I not have defeated them in the last game, then, because it appears I only made things worse? And make up your mind already on whether or not Nobodies can feel, okay-eee? And Sleeping Keyholes now, really? Let’s have Merely Lethargic Keyholes next. Or Insomniac Keyholes that can’t become Sleeping Keyholes no matter how hard they try, and they even drank that tea that makes you sleepy before bed.
- “Super Paper Mario” has a better style of fighting than the other “Paper Mario” games, but that’s why it doesn’t feel like a “Paper Mario” game, and that is also proof I’m a major whiner.
- And no matter how much I adore “Banjo-Kazooie”, I don’t like being talked to by items. It’s a pet peeve of mine. I mean, don’t you just hate when you’re walking along and an egg, or a feather, or a honeycomb decides to strike up a conversation with you? Very awkward.
- I despise Sephiroth’s several-minute-long Super Nova attack in “Final Fantasy VII”, though I’m pretty sure everyone in existence does. Sephiroth was probably bored during it. I could have left and bought myself some extra phoenix downs and been back before it was over. You know what, why didn’t I just defeat Sephiroth during this time?
- And I don’t have to play the game to know that I won’t be happy with the Wii Fit Trainer being a playable character in the next “Super Smash Bros.” I cross my arms and refuse to be pleased.
- “Kingdom Hearts” Proud Mode annihilated me, and this makes me sad and lowers my sense of worth.
But, that’s okay, because these are just little flaws in otherwise delightful games (except for the one I haven’t played yet). I hope you enjoyed my first list, and feel free to share anything you dislike about games you like. It’s fun. It is.
Things I Don’t Duck About Things I Duck