I’m sure this is old news.  As old as the expired code for the “Tale of Fire and Lightning” bonus quest that I can’t get now because I took too long to play my copy of Immortals Fenyx Rising.  Not that it matters because I won’t be playing the game now, at least not anytime soon, as the moment I reached the title screen, I was informed that I was required to create a Ubisoft Connect account.  (Or turn off the internet to my PS4.)  Finding no way around this besides tampering with my PS4’s network settings, simple though it may be, I chose instead to just uninstall the game, reclaiming a nice chunk of hard drive space, and play something else.

Apparently this is a thing with all newer Ubisoft games.  Considering I almost never buy games from large studios anymore, this was news to me.  When prompted to create my account, I was promised such coveted features as “sharing my experience” with other players (like I care), “unique rewards” (in exchange for my personal info, no thanks), and the ability to keep my saves across all platforms.  I don’t even understand that last one.  What, do they expect me to have a separate copy of the game for every console I own?  Because I don’t.  At this point, I regret even buying the one copy!  A quick search online informed me that Rockstar Games, Activision, Bethesda, and the infamous EA Games also require accounts with them in order to play their games nowadays.

It’s not that I’m against accounts of any kind.  A Nintendo or PlayStation account doesn’t bother me.  After all, this is just one account for the whole console, which allows me to access the store and buy games in a manner not too dissimilar from Amazon.  Presumably, if I were to ever upgrade to a PS5 or Switch 2, I could log into my account and re-download any compatible games I had already bought, free of charge.  This is an example where an account doesn’t only make sense, but it’s kind of required.  (Unless you’d rather the good ol’ days when you had to re-buy all the Virtual Console games on the Wii U that you had already purchased on the Wii.)

But I can’t comprehend why I would need a unique account per game developer unless this is just a way for the companies to obtain our personal data.  And I’m sorry, I already have enough accounts out there in the world, many of which like to send me emails that I can’t unsubscribe from.  (I’m looking at you Amazon store news.  How many times must I click unsubscribe before you’ll take me seriously?!  I am not a Duck to be trifled with!)

Again, it’s not as if I can’t play the game.  I’d just have to turn off the internet on my PS4.  But I don’t want to.  I shouldn’t have to.  And I’m not going to.  You might have stolen my money this time, Ubisoft, but don’t expect me to ever buy a game from you ever again, nor will I be purchasing anything from the other companies listed above, either.  I’m tired of companies overstepping their bounds.  I paid full price for your game!  You don’t also need my full name and email and date of birth and blood type.  You don’t need a sample of my DNA so you can clone me.  You had one job, Ubisoft!  Just make me games to entertain me in my free time.  But if that’s too difficult for you, then I guess I’ll take my business elsewhere!