Very little can motivate me to visit the movie theater.  A big part stems from the complete lack of control I have over the movie.  I can’t turn the volume down; I can’t pause for bathroom breaks.  I also have to be around complete strangers and can’t pet my cats from the comfort of my own couch.  Nevertheless, being a fan of the franchise since roughly 2015, I simply had to see the Five Nights at Freddy’s movie as soon as humanly possible, and I wasn’t going to start paying a monthly subscription to Peacock.  I was also joined by Mother Duck, who has not played the games, but has been following the lore and watching playthroughs on Youtube (including some of my own) for just as long as I have.  I’m going to keep the spoilers light in the bulk of this review, though I will list some areas of confusion that are very heavy in spoilers at the bottom of this post, so please be aware of that!

In case you’re unfamiliar, the FNAF franchise started out where you play as a security guard working the night shift at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria while killer animatronics try to get into your office.  As the series grew, we were introduced piece by piece to increasingly convoluted lore, much of which centers around child abduction and a serial killer named William Afton, originally known simply as “the purple guy”, as this was how he was depicted in the 8-bit minigames that would explain the darker lore of the franchise.  So for all the critics saying that the movie’s plot was confusing, all I can say is, “Welcome to FNAF!  If you think this is confusing, try understanding the games!”

The movie follows the story of the first game’s night guard, Mike Schmidt (Josh Hutcherson), who is haunted with the guilt of being unable to stop his little brother Garrett’s kidnapping during a family camping trip years ago.  Mike’s extreme hypervigilance leads to him getting fired from his job as a mall security guard after he beats up a kid’s dad after mistakenly believing that the man was kidnapping the boy.  This leads to him being offered the night security guard at the now abandoned Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza by career counselor Steve Raglan (Matthew Lillard). Initially, Mike is still not motivated to take a cruddy job with bad pay and even worse hours and goes home to his little sister Abby, whom he is raising by himself after the death of their parents.  Unfortunately, their Aunt Jane wants custody of Abby and threatens to take Mike to court, which forces Mike to take the job at Freddy’s out of desperation.

The absolute best thing about this movie is Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza.  Not only is the set really cool and atmospheric, but the animatronics are absolutely amazing (they were created by Jim Henson’s Creature Shop, after all)!  Yes, they used actual animatronics for the iconic characters of Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie the bunny, Chica the chicken, and Foxy the pirate, and they look exactly the way they did in the first game.  And even when they are portrayed by people in suits, they still act mostly like convincing animatronics.  Seeing these characters on the big screen was an amazing experience, and I was pleased that my personal favorite, Foxy, got a decent amount of screentime, especially considering he’s been rather forgotten in the games.

I also appreciated various Easter eggs and cameos, such as Bonnie chilling in the supply closet like he’s seen to do in the first game and Foxy singing his little “dum dee dum dum” song.  Mother Duck and I were both very excited by the MatPat cameo in the diner, as well (for anyone who doesn’t know, MatPat is a well-known Youtuber who started out on Game Theory, but has since expanded to include three additional theory channels).  Even the 8-bit style opening that mimicked the minigames just made me rather happy…and a little teary-eyed simply from the very fact that I was actually watching the FNAF movie after so many years of waiting!

While we both had a lot of fun watching the movie, the more I mulled it over in my mind during the ensuing hours, the more I gradually grew more and more aware of the movie’s shortcomings.  Oh, to be an adult…and one who enjoys writing reviews, which causes me to nitpick at every possible flaw that the average person probably missed because they were too busy simply enjoying the movie like a normal person.  Sigh, it gives me no pleasure to do this, but it’s about time I talked about the movie in a more critical fashion…

First of all, this is supposed to be a horror movie, and it wasn’t actually scary…ever.  I do want to make it clear, however, that I don’t enjoy watching horror movies, and as such, I was pleased by the PG-13 rating and the lack of violence and swearing.  With that said, I do understand that most people wanted the movie to be much more violent than it was.  The deaths we do see cut away before much is shown, though there is one death in particular that was rather shocking when compared to everything else.  There was also surprisingly little in terms of jumpscares, which is odd for a franchise known for them, and as I had already touched upon, nothing really made me particularly scared.  To give you an idea of what I do find frightening, the scariest movie I’ve seen in recent years was 10 Cloverfield Lane, which was also rated PG-13 and had some really tense moments and a generally uncomfortable vibe all throughout.  And that movie wasn’t even considered horror.  (I can literally never watch John Goodman in anything ever again without feeling genuinely anxious, that’s how effective he was in his role.  But I digress.)  So yeah, while I’m one of the few people who was relieved that the movie wasn’t more violent, I do wish it had been a lot scarier.

As for the story, I thought it was sufficient while I was watching it.  I mean, the first game literally has you sitting in an office, looking at cameras and managing your power until 6 AM, all the while keeping killer robots at bay.  So the movie certainly did a good job of going beyond such a simple concept with a deeper story that still tied into the whole theme of child abduction that the FNAF franchise centers around.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t handled as well as it could have been.  The whole subplot with Aunt Jane was not needed, and while a lot of time was spent on Mike’s past and his brother’s kidnapping, they don’t do as much with that time as they should have.  And the way it ties into the main villain and the kids who went missing at Freddy’s felt like a big coincidence more than anything.

Much of this movie also embraces a very annoying trope…characters that behave stupidly.  Some of Mike’s negligent behavior towards Abby made little sense, especially considering that he already lost a sibling in the past.  I know that people can often neglect the family member that’s still alive as they cope with grief over the one they lost, but this was still taken to an unrealistic level in one dream sequence in particular.  Mike also accepts the truth about the animatronics’ odd behavior way too readily, which seemed rather weird, as well.  I can also understand his obsession with reliving that one moment from his past through his dreams in an attempt to remember some sort of detail that will reveal the identity of Garrett’s kidnapper.  But dude, you can’t purposely take sleeping pills when you’re at work!  I’m sorry, but you have a job working nights, so you’re going to have to get some blackout curtains and catch up on sleep during the daytime!  It’s not like this was even a second job or something!

And then there’s Officer Vanessa (Elizabath Lail), who was just a really weird character whose motivations often made very little sense, especially considering some details that I’ll discuss below once I start talking about spoilers.  This lady’s mood swings are jarring, as one moment she’s being weirdly silly for a cop and the next she’s serious.  And I’m not the only person to specifically cite the fort-building scene as super weird and out of place.  It just didn’t fit the tone of the movie and felt forced in.

Oh yeah, the tone.  There are certainly times the movie tries to be funny and succeeds (Doug the lawyer is a character with very little screen time that was quite amusing), while other jokes just didn’t land.  The FNAF franchise is a mix of horror and dark humor that could have certainly been integrated into the movie better.  One example that comes to mind is a training tape from FNAF 3 that instructs employees who experience a springlock failure to go into a back room and bleed out in private so they don’t bother the customers.  The way this is so casually mentioned is so morbidly humorous and also highlights how companies so often treat their employees.

Alongside that is odd pacing, where we spent too much time on Mike’s past and too little on what the fans came to the theater to see.  I wanted to see more of the animatronics being threatening, and I also think it would have been cool to switch between the past and present and show us more of Freddy’s back when it was still open.  Furthermore, the movie doesn’t spend enough time on William Afton himself, the main villain of the franchise.  Although I feel like Afton’s identity is super obvious, I won’t point it out by mentioning the actor by name…but he was really great and a big highlight of the movie (nearby, one of our fellow viewers was sitting at the edge of her seat, leaning forward in rapt attention).  Unfortunately, he gets very little screen time, and once he finally shows up at the end in that iconic yellow rabbit suit, the scene was over far too quickly.  Again, I’m not big into horror movies and the serial killers and violence so prevalent in them, but I wanted to see more of Afton being menacing…and I wanted to see this evil man suffer for his crimes more.

When I was actively watching the movie, I thought they did a pretty good job considering the simplicity of the first game upon which the movie was most heavily based.  But now that I’ve had more time to really think about what I saw and break it all down, I am rather disappointed by what could have been.  William Afton should have been a much bigger threat and a presence more throughout the movie, even if in the background.  We should have seen more of the animatronics being menacing, but instead, they are taken out very quickly and easily.  Have characters make fewer silly decisions and give them stronger motivations!  Maybe tie in Garrett’s kidnapping more into the main story than an event that only relates by mere coincidence!  And please give these actors a better script to work with!  As much as I loved Afton’s performance, even he had some dialogue that seemed weird and forced in.  Also not a big fan of Abby.  The actress portraying her, Piper Rubio, is a perfectly cute kid, but I think they could have easily picked someone with better acting abilities.

If you’re a fan of the FNAF franchise, then you’ll surely enjoy seeing the animatronics and Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, along with the Easter eggs and cameos (in addition to MatPat, Youtuber Cory Kenshin also had several appearances, including a mid-credits scene).  Just don’t expect the movie to be perfect or to utilize the most interesting characters as well as it should have.  If you’re not a FNAF fan, well, then I recommend just trying the first game or two.  They’re short and inexpensive.  And honestly, a movie based on a video game franchise is never going to be as engaging as the games that inspired it, no matter how good it is.

With that said, Mother Duck and I still had fun with the movie, and I don’t think it was quite as bad or confusing as people make it out to be.  Yes, despite all my complaints, I still don’t think the movie deserves to be labeled as outright bad.  I’ve seen BAD movies, and this ain’t it.  It’s just disappointing that it could have been greatly improved by some relatively minor changes, some of which I’ll talk about below.  So without further ado, for all of you who have already seen the movie…or who don’t mind spoilers, you can keep reading for some additional critiques and suggestions.  Last chance to turn back because…

You Are Now Entering the Spoiler-Zone

• So I doubt anyone was surprised that Afton was the one who kidnapped Mike’s brother, but it doesn’t really make sense.  Afton is known to lure kids in the pizzeria, not randomly kidnap children in the woods.  We also learn that the camping trip where Garrett was kidnapped was in Nebraska, while the movie takes place in…not Nebraska (possibly Utah).  So Afton just happened to be in Nebraska at the same time as Mike’s family?  What a weird coincidence!  This could have easily been fixed by making Garrett one of the five children who went missing at Freddy’s, and Mike could have taken the job there in an attempt to find out what happened to his brother.  This would have made the story far tidier and eliminated some big coincidences!
• Golden Freddy appears briefly in the movie, but even as a longtime fan, I found this extremely unclear.  He just looks like a somewhat damaged version of regular Freddy, and he was shown to be very heavy when he entered the taxi, even though he should have been a ghost.  If I was very confused by his appearance, which barely differed from that of regular Freddy (was he even very yellow), then I’d imagine people less familiar with the lore would have no idea who he was.  And considering how much of a creepy, otherworldly presence Golden Freddy is in the games, they could have made this unique character much more unsettling.
• Likewise, how is Mike gonna explain his aunt’s death?  Plus I want to emphasize again that she was unnecessary.  The actress playing her (Mary Stuart Masterson) was very unconvincing in her role (probably the script’s fault more than hers, though), and it seems silly that she’d want custody of Abby just for a check from the government, which clearly isn’t much considering how Mike and Abby are living.
• Furthermore, you don’t need such strong motivation for Mike to take this job (again, I gave him better motivation earlier…or maybe he just really needs the cash) or for vandals to break in.  People vandalize abandoned buildings.  Just to be jerks.  We don’t need a deeper reason.
• The movie did, however, need stronger motivation for why the ghost children were under Afton’s control.  I’ll be honest, while many people don’t like the direction the series has taken in recent years, Security Breach makes far more sense considering the animatronics are infected by a virus that makes them aggressive and Vanny is under the influence of mind control/brainwashing.  But what can Afton possibly do to ghosts?  He doesn’t even treat them well, so they have no reason to have some misguided loyalty to him.  Maybe they don’t remember what he did to them, but they’re also not under the impression that he ever did anything positive for them, either.
• As mentioned earlier, Vanessa was really weird.  I can accept that she is just a rather childish adult who has fond memories of Freddy’s from when she was a kid.  Making a character behave strangely can work if the motivation makes sense and if this just fits with their eccentric personality.  But this justification falls apart once we learn that she knew about the pizzeria’s grisly past more than anyone (aside from Afton himself, of course), and yet she still seemed very excited to be there.  I’m sorry, but if I knew that children had been killed here, by my own father, no less, and that their bodies were still there, inside the animatronics that I’m hanging out with, I would not be too thrilled to return here!

Image from official Universal Productions trailer #2