This past week, my game of choice has been Dredge. It’s a fishing game with eldritch horror elements, and I’ve found myself really enjoying the progression of both the atmosphere and fishing gameplay. I’ve also rather enjoyed learning more about this mysterious world I’m playing in and pulling back the layers of its core mystery. Here’s the thing though, I’m getting to the end of the game and I’ve more or less got an idea of what’s going on. And now that I have that idea, I can’t forget it. This’ll make any and all subsequent playthroughs that much less interesting, and there’s something rather unfortunate in that I think.

Of course this applies to just about every experience to be had in life. You can only do something for the first time once. After that, it’s known to you, and you experience it differently from then on. Focusing on games though, I just wanted to look back for a bit on some the games that I wish I could experience fresh again.

Starting with stuff I’ve recently played, I really wish I could have a fresh start with Signalis and Tormented Souls. In both cases, I’d really like to enjoy working through the puzzles again as both games require some rather outside the box thinking to solve them. Tormented Souls was particularly challenging in that regard. I had to, on multiple occasions, break out pen and paper and really think about the clues I was given. It was awesome! Now though？ Now I know all the solutions so there’s really no point in playing it again.

As for Signalis, it lives more on its atmosphere and esoteric story than its puzzles and gameplay, so it still retains much of what made it such a fascinating experience to begin with. Yet, it remains true that all of the discovery has already happened and the emotional gut-punches have already been delivered. While I can’t say I fully understand Signalis, I do know how it goes. Hopefully, I can revisit it again after a while.

Then there are more “classic” games like BioShock and Mass Effect. I was practically obsessed with these games back in the day, but even then the whole “diminishing returns” thing was definitely felt. I kept trying to play them differently in order to try to recapture some of that initial feeling, but the stories were the stories and the basic gameplay was what it was. There’s no getting around that. I wonder if that’s part of what makes multiplayer-centric games such a draw.

I mean, with multiplayer the basic gameplay is always the same, but anything can happen in a game. There’s always somewhere to go in terms of your skill level and new discoveries to make in terms of how to do things. Then there’s that drip-feed of story content and such that games like Destiny 2 like to do. It can all absolutely still become stale too, but I think the idea of there always being “more” is something really powerful. Heck, it was for me back when Destiny wasn’t a blatant and intentionally mediocre cash-grab game.

For all this complaining though, I don’t actually think the “endless story” kind of game is all that good of an idea in the end though. I may wish I could experience stuff like Shepard’s assault on Soveriegn or Nier: Automata’s secret ending for the first time again, but I think the fact that they do end is part of what makes the feelings surrounding them so strong. What I mean is that if the stories for any of the games I mentioned had just kept on going live service-style, the I don’t think I’d be thinking of them as special now.

Never-ending stories aren’t satisfying because there’s no resolution. Sure you get to spend more time with the characters and their world, but all that extra time and the lack of a point takes the experience and pulls all interest out of it. Getting a neverending amount of Tormented Souls-style puzzles sounds great now, but I bet it wouldn’t feel so great in practice. I’d likely start to wonder what the point of the puzzles is and want to just get through tem to whatever resolution was coming. I suppose you could say that despite our desire for more, were are often fortunate that developers don’t give us too much.

There is only one first-run in any game. It always leaves a wistful feeling once you finish, and that feeling only grows with the game’s quality. It’s not a good feeling at all, inspiring all kinds of wishful thinking and wistful posts like this one. Even so, I don’t think I’d want it any other way. It’s sad to think that you’ll never be able to have that fresh experience again, but that just makes that first run that much sweeter of a memory. It makes discussing those experiences that much more fun too, as you can compare yours with those of friends and even the wider internet. Yeah, there’s only one “first,” but I think I’m actually glad that’s the case.

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What are some games you wish you could enjoy for the first time again? How do you feel about not being able to go back and have that fresh run again?

Image from the Signalis Steam store page